Becoming Holy

Happily Ever After…really?

on September 17, 2013


I’m beginning this blog with a romantic picture of Prince Charming and I together in Maui. Isn’t that what life is about?  Romance, extravagant vacations, happily ever after with the Prince?  Or is that all make believe?  

I’ve been speaking with a lot of friends and even strangers about Facebook.  A lot of them are seriously considering dropping their accounts.  Why? Because they are tired of feeling like a “Less Than.”  We’ve all been there~scrolling through the posts on our wall~reading the latest account of a friend’s vacation, seeing pictures of another’s new car, reading about all the awards another has won.  By the time we leave our wall, we feel depleted~we feel “less than.” Facebook can be like Christmas Newsletters on steroids!  I personally love a good Christmas letter but some of them give me pause. Prince Charming likes to give me the business about Facebook.  He had an account for ONE DAY and realized it wasn’t for him.  He recently attended a conference and the guest speaker spoke about the harms of Facebook and the false front it presents to the world.  There were incredible statistics linking depression to FB usage.  An entire generation is basing how they feel about themselves on how they compare to the Facebook lives of their friends.

Prince Charming challenged me~asking if I was going to drop my account after hearing those statistics.  I wasn’t sure where he was going with this.  I reminded him that I try to use FB as a positive force in my own life.  To write status updates that challenge myself for the day and force a certain accountability on how I measure up after posting them. He pushed me a little further and said, “Did you ever think that posting all those positive statuses gives a false impression of who you are~that people think you are like that all the time?”  OUCH!  This discussion actually turned into a pretty funny bantering session with us going back and forth about FB presentation versus real life.  

You see, the Prince and I had been dueling for the past few weeks~not really meshing on how to make our way through all the changes life is presenting.  One day, he asked if I could treat him as nicely as I do my friends on Facebook.  I told him I wasn’t sure I could~I reminded him that my FB friends do really nice things like hitting the “like” button, leaving little heart icons and smiley faces on my wall.  Many of them respond positively to things I say and affirm me in different little ways.  We found ourselves using facebook terminology to discuss our real life dilemma. There was talk of “deleting” comments from each other, reminding each other to hit the “like” button, threatening to “SHARE” arguments and potentially “unfriending” or changing passwords!  Gasp! We actually have found using “facebook speak” to be an effective way to diffuse conflict in our daily lives.  

 I share this because I don’t want people to have a false picture of who I am.  Happily Ever After is something I strive for but I realize it takes constant work.  Happiness is a choice.  Love is a decision. Sometimes I simply don’t measure up.  I’m sure the Prince is often wondering if he is dealing with the Princess of the wicked stepsister.  I will always be a fairy tale seeker.  The problem is, there is no reference to God in fairy tales.  Fairy Tales are all about magic.  Real life~our lives~have a significant advantage.  We have a God who loves us and created us to be happy with Him.  We only need to do our best and strive for more and one day, we will have our happily ever after!


12 responses to “Happily Ever After…really?

  1. Wow, Charlene, I’ve struggled with FB too…I see the good, and many link to good articles, but then I’m wasting time reading articles…good food for thought. I love your inspirations for the day!

  2. Joanie says:

    You make my heart sing!

  3. Janel Woodhouse says:

    Love you Charlene! Great reminders…. all of it….. thank you.

  4. Heatehr Uhlenkott says:

    ummm, kind of feeling awkward here Charlene….have you been reading my journal???? The last two blog entries have been spot on!! Love your words Charlene…they mean a lot to me. Now if you start writing about dreams of huge piles of laundry attacking you…I am going to know something is up:)

    • charstar87 says:

      Heather~Thank you for this! Isn’t it amazing how we can all be thinking the same things at the same time! I hope I don’t have the laundry dreams!!! Now I’m afraid to go to sleep! 🙂

  5. Patrick Kee says:

    I stay on Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family that I’m separated from by thousands of miles, not to impress someone who didn’t like me in high school (that’s for Classmates). I love to stay up to date with how my extended family is doing and hear the good stuff going on and encourage them in the not so good times. After all, if I saw you every weekend at a pig roast, that’s what I’d be doing. Be well Charlene.

  6. Wendy Nuxoll says:

    Dearest Charlene, I recently heard a man talk about this on EWTN, although he was talking about the time people spend on social media and how they could be having “real” face to face time with a “real” person instead. He actually works in this business in some way (I don’t remember the details) but decided to delete his own Facebook account because he felt he could be doing so many more worthwhile things instead. He said that even if he was on Facebook for five minutes he started thinking that he could have read Scripture for five minutes, had a five minute real conversation with someone, spent five minutes in prayer, etc. It was definitely food for thought! Love you, dear sister-in-law!

    • charstar87 says:

      Wendy~You are wonderful! It is so important to evaluate how we spend out time since we never get it back. I am praying about how to best budget time. I am so thankful for your input! You are the dear sister-in-law! Love you!

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