Becoming Holy

A Loss Remembered

on July 3, 2013


Just one of those days when a mother’s heart wanders and ponders all that might have been.  Having just learned of a young couple losing their baby just weeks before delivery, I cannot help but think of their pain.  This event, this loss makes present our loss and the reminder of all the burden that goes with losing a child.  I have never known the pain of stillbirth, yet I can grieve with this couple who no longer get to parent their child.  I can sympathize with the gut wrenching moment when the casket lid is closed and you know you will never see your baby again.  My heart feels like it is imploding in my chest as I remember the sorrow and disbelief.

Last week at Vacation Bible School I was blessed to speak with another mom who was remembering the loss of her son 11 years prior.  They had him for a few short, priceless days and then he returned to Heaven.  We commiserated at how hard and yet how important it is to celebrate the birthday of our children in heaven.  Our children on earth need this connecting point~to celebrate with a sibling in heaven, to acknowledge their earthly birth and be part of a family activity that recognizes the importance of all members. As moms, we agreed that sometimes it is really, really hard to smile and put on that “Happy Birthday” face and celebrate a day that carries so many memories of what might have been.

The more parents I talk to, the more I realize the universality of death and the similar grief experience of losing a child.  My prayer is that God will bond us together, one to another, to uplift the hearts of those new to this terrible loss.  To provide ongoing healing for losses of long ago.  To strengthen one another by helping show that joy returns.  To carry on in faith and in love.  A friend once gave me a beautiful image of Jesus embracing a woman.  The woman is obviously mourning a great loss.  Jesus is cradling her head and He is overcome with sadness.  I pray that we might each discover what it is to mourn with others~to truly embrace their pain and walk it with them rather than hurrying to “fix” things.

I am thanking God for providing a memory of the sorrow~one that reminds me how tenderly I need to treat those experiencing loss and heartache.  I praise Him for the storms of my life~they remind me that it is a good thing to carry an umbrella and offer it to those who have their own storms to face.  I cannot keep them safe from the rain, but perhaps can offer a bit of shelter when it is time.


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